Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith have been married for more than 21 years, but that doesn’t mean it’s always been easy for the superstar couple.
Jada reveals in a candid interview with People Magazine that there was a point when she thought it would be better for them to divorce.
“It just felt like loss,” she said. “There was too much concentration on what was happening externally, and the family unit itself wasn’t getting the attention and care that I felt we needed.”
In the middle of their hectic careers and feeling “suffocated” by expectations about “conventional marriage,” Jada says the couple hit a wall at about 10 years in, around her 40th birthday.
“Will’s like, ‘We just came from Oslo, going to the  Nobel Peace Prize ceremony [for Barack Obama] as a family, you’ve got a big house with a lake – isn’t this amazing?!’ And I’m like, ‘No,’” Jada said.
“By the time my 40th [birthday] came, I was like, ‘I can’t do it anymore.’ I was so depleted.”
Jada revealed that she even contemplated suicide and had to dig deep within to save herself, her relationship and her family.
“I am kind of a ride-or-die chick,” she said. “I just knew with the kind of love that Will and I share — which is beyond romantic love — that we could transform our union and figure out how to re-create what we had.”
In an upcoming episode of her Facebook talk show, Red Table Talk, she also revealed that there have been “betrayals of the heart,” in their marriage “that have been far bigger than I could even think in regards to an infidelity situation.”
“Personally, in my journey, what I had to realize was that I had to find all the peace, love and joy within my heart in order to bring it to the table to share,” the mother of two said. “Will had to go away and find the peace, love and joy in his heart to share.”
Will has previously spoken about the ups and downs of their relationship as well, revealing on Red Table Talk back in October that they went through a very trying period.
“I was devastated even worse than a divorce. We broke up within our marriage and got back together again,” he said. “We had to rebuild with new rules and something way, completely different.”